"Religion is a magic device for turning unanswerable questions into unquestionable answers.
-Art Gecko, Primethyme 3, 128650 DPP
"Religion is just a tool for getting at the Ultimate Experience of Truth. Most religious people, given this tool, are like the person who, given a set of lock picking tools and a safe containing the Ultimate Prize, have somehow managed to lock themselves inside the safe and leave both treasure and lock picks on the other side of the door.
Some free promotional samples of MOOist doctrine are available. (While supplies last)
MOO is a religion for people who don't believe in religion. Heck, for people who don't believe in MOOism!
-Bubi the Next-In-Line
Before anything else, I'd like to say how profoundly annoying it is for a non-religious person such as myself to have accidentally become the spiritual leader of an estimated ten thousand MOOists, particularly since I am the sort of person who believes that the term "spiritual leader" is an oxymoron, and "terrorist organization" is a redundancy. Fortunately for me, MOOism not only tolerates internal contradictions like this, it actively encourages them. Thus, I have caved in to paradox - the MOOist form of enlightenment - and created a highly popular, self-aggrandizing website for the official religious propaganda from a religion that preaches against both propaganda and orthodoxy. In doing so, I become a heretic - and therefore entitled to my MOOist rank.
Beginning misleading propaganda now...
If you think this religion is a joke, you have NO sense of humour. This is POSTMODERNISM.
MOOism is a religion (or possibly something else) created to meet the unique needs of postmodern society. It has been designed to break your brain out of routine modes of thought and restore you to the truly human mode of functioning which was once practiced by the Ancient Atlantean Adepts. It stands opposed to such sinister forces for mind control as Alien Psychomorphic Satellites, The Ancient Atlantean Adepts, Cheese, Bob Dole, and International Squid Biscuits.
Among other things, MOOism has been called the Negativland of religion. Not only does it irreverently (and sometimes irrelevantly) sample innumerable other religious traditions, it uses recontextualization and paradoxical framing techniques to prevent minds from settling into orthodoxy. Paradox and radical self-contradiction are, in the postmodern context, the most reasonable way to approach the Absolute.
For those who care, there are some pictures of MOOists here, and some mysterious heiroglyphs for you to ponder.
|Some of the sources sampled by MOOism include:||Download the source files for MOO MOO encoder and decoder.||Paid Advertisements|
Robert Anton Wilson
The Church of the SubGenius
The Church of MOO is a religion for those who shout "Crowded" in a theatre fire.
--Ockeg Dylof IX
|Download the source files for MOO MOO encoder and decoder.
Right click on file to save to disk.
Compiled under Linux, Red-Hat v.8 for your downloading pleasure: MooEncoder MooDecoder
I downloaded the source code from alt.cows.moo.moo.moo.