The Eris Entripocus ______________________ Book One Doctrine of The Holy Chapter of Froot Loops, and Useful Text file. Devised by his Assholiness S'wingitus Dickitomus and his Nunzio John Kanash Esq. THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF Swinging Dick! Wherein Is Explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything and then Some, but not as much as before....Wich was more. This Text File describes a Wayward sect of The Discordian Soceity. The Froot Loops Cult as it is come to be called by some, is not as religously devout as others of its kind, and Prefers to work in Mundane guises. Essentially We are to Fido What Erisians are to Christianity. We have developed our Entire Culture around the Tellecomunications medium of our Faith. We speak of BBS's as one might of their Temples. We speak of Echos as one might of their Streets or Plazas or Stables. WE speak of Fresh meat and dirty linen as if it were Fresh meat and Dirty linen so as you can see, we are "tetched by the fever". ________ Introduction _____________ Much as Inspired by the Devout faith of Erisians,and the Principia Discordia, This book destined to be a (Literatus Immortalus) as great as perhaps something written by wise old guys, who are long since dead. Perhaps even greater than the Principia Discordia, or the Farmers Almanac. One thing that Distresses me, is that the author of the PD, was so Vague about who created, as if anyone cared that an alien Inteligence of Some magnitude had created this text file, in order to subvert human Kind into its servitude...I mean this is immaterial. Entropian Motto: It Feels Good Do it> Point of Eris . PART FOUR OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Today is the First day, of the Rest of your Enemys Life. Cherish it. ________________________________________- Erisian Influenced, Moo Inspired, FROOT LOOPIAN HYMN: Author: Flog Sonata Title : Getting drunk and bugging the fuck out of you. Now why the hell did I do that? Alcohol claimed my soul. Alcohol, takes its toll. I am not a dwarf or troll, I miss watching "Kids in the Hall", I haven't got it on the ball, and it's all the fault of alcohol! Everybody sing! Al-co-hol! Al-co-hol! Let's go get wasted at the mall! Sing and get drunk and fall down in the hall, Oh wonderous and joyous al-co-hol! [The following is read in a soft, rough voice as people go "ooo-oooo" in the background...] I was at Hellhound's party... I got kinda fucked up. And there was Half-Mad, his shaved head glistening in the moonlight. And I don't know why, but like some kind of insect, I buzzed around him. And he had the decency not to reach out and *swat* me. Halfy, you're a gentleman and a scholar, and I dedicate this song to you. Everybody sing! Al-co-hol, Al-co-hol! We all have been in its enthrall! We all get wasted, We all have tasted, the wonderous power of alcohol! If I live to be 90, or perhaps 84, And I learn to walk upright, And not crawl on the floor, I'll dedicate my life to AA and helping the mauled... But I'll never... No I'll never... Give up...... (dramatic silence. We're all waiting for a repeat of that word so common to this song. Yet it seems the singer has passed out. Oh well.) ------------Ancient Greeks beleived Jim Morrison Orignated this Hymm---- they were wrong. FROOT LOOPS partial list of SAINTS: St Ulik, Dean of Saints. St Weasel, Saint of Irritating the old St.Grape Ape, Of the Hannabarbarians St.Emerlinger, of lingering Emurs St.Frank-N-furter, Perfecter of a perfectly working, Transmolecular device. St.Sherman, Saint of Mythology St.S'wingius D'ickitius, Ancient Hittite who lived in Rome. St.Pummice, considered self to have created froot loops, sadly mistaken. St.Johnstone, Saint of those,without clues. St.Cospuh, Saint of Weed. St.Fergusin, Saint of flatulence St.Joseph Hyde II-writer of ancient Scriptures. St. Sanders, great Colonel, Fryer of Chickens. St. Lance-Sacred Cat of Hungry,Impatient Pets St.Augustine,City and home of Ripleys beleive it or not Museum and pukatorium St.YappleDapple, Saint of Eris St.Paper Dragon, First to Hail the Holy Loops. St.Anixmander, Of Orlando St. Manson, Icon of the Counter-Counter-Culture St. Burlap, While never being in Froot loops, pretty cool despite it. St. Half-Mad, Only half-saint, Highness of Sister faith MOO. ___________________________________________________________________ The Great Poly Step-Father and Megalomodater of the FROOT LOOPIAN Faith, is Dean Jones of Disney Fame, however he was never the same after Walt died, and passed this honorific to none other Than John Kanash, or Swinging Dick, whose anscestor was St. S'wingus D'ickitius. ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Remember when Flying it is best, to Tuck and Roll when you hit the ground. ---Example of Deep Thought, to whit revered by the mighty of Froot Loops. The ancient Scriptures (text files) have wisdom beyond measure and are subject of great conjecture and discussion, by the holy and unholy of frootLoopianism. PART Five OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Rules,Rules, Rule, Since the Code OF Hamurapi, the ancient Pre-cursors, who envisioned the enlightened age of Frootlooptopia, Dreamed of many many rules. These rules are for sale, and anyone with money, should see brother Ramen, To purchase them. Actually, One should study, the many many many Rules of FROOT LOOPS, but not to closely, for the ancient curse of Eyecrossia or Boredomi may vent its frustration on those seeking the wisdom of the sacred rules. Rules are neccesary, judged by another Faith, the faith of FIDO, it is our firm beleif, that the only way to enjoy life is to have lots and lots of rules, then change them. It is my firm beleif, that it is not wise, to hold firm beleifs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Belboian Printout: The Templars have something to do with everything, what follows is not true, Jesus was crucified under pontius pilate The sage Omus founded the Rosy cross in Egypt There are cabalists in provence Who was married at the feast of Cana? Minnie Mouse is Mickys Fiancee It logically follows that if the druids venerated black virgins then Simon Magus identifies sophia as Prostitute of Tyre Who was married at the feast of Cana? The Merovvingians proclaim themselves king by divine Right The Templars have something to do with everything. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Froot Lopian Proverb: Those that Can, Do. Those that Do, Do. Those that Doo-Doo, can. __________________________________________________ A FrootLoopian Templar, is a Knight,and a priveladged Rank, wich can be taken away, but not without much skiddoo and hub-bub* This rank is only given to the Sysop in possesion of a link to the Holy echo of FROOT_LOOPS. The Goddess giveth, but Fido can taketh away. *note: Hullaballoo might be substituted for Hub-bub, if there is a shortage. PART Six OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Superstition brings Badluck ---Raymond Smullyan 5000 B.C Early Froot Loopian @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ RHPS, find out what it means to me, --Aretha Franklin, sung while stoned at a late night movie. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Agartha is the Center of the World, and there upon lies the tip of The united Avalon. There is a great Circle K there, that unlimited Big Gulps and the most riteous of Bahama Mamas can be had, these are not to be eaten on Friday, for thou would be cast from the center of the World, by Rashish, keeper of the night-shift and deity of the Circle-Kians. His brother Achhachmed, highest of the assistant managers shall come and find that Rashish has not ordered the correct size slushee container lids, and be so angered that Volcanos shall erupt on the Land, and Much spillage of Slushees, there shall be. --S'wingitus D'ickitius, book of Dick 2 Ancient words of Power: Cheter Bina Choch-ma Cheuora Heled Teferet c o d Nezach Ielod Malachut ___________ It is beleived that these symbolize the Pendulum or law of Five, or that they were rejected names of projected Dodge automobiles. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Author: Grinning Coyote To: Rubashov Subject: Interested/fnord > Would someone explain to me, if it is possible, what Discordia is > all about? Other than eating hot dog buns? Nononono! Thou shalt *NOT* eat hot dog buns on Fridays... Discordia was the goddess who tossed the golden apple that started the Trojan War... As to Discordianism... Discordians (at least those of us at F.U.C.K.) promote ILLUMINATION and WISDOM (knowledge through transfer of information via textfiles, etc.). We founded the "Just Say Know" movement (not very big yet, but growing) out of Operation Mindfuck (O.M.). Discordians are generally very much into O.M....The purpose of O.M. is to spread information (Factual, not "Truth") to the masses through tricking them into thinking for themselves...something that the masses have been trained not to do for many centuries... That would probably be considered the "Prime Directive" so to speak of Discordianism...the rest is to have fun doing it! --- Hail Eris! * Origin: First Untied Church Kalisti/(deleted by Illumanati/HST/V32b/V42b PART Seven OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ "take heart, I said to myself:don't think of Wisdom now;ask the help of science." --unknown. It is a belief of Frotopians, that The Forces of Nature, and the soul of Mankind has been de-ifed by other religions. Not wanting to be total copy-cats we proffess to be aware of what they were up to with their myths and commen beleifs. There seems to be some Confusion on our position regarding Spirituality and Science. That is something we should endeavor to maintain. ______________________________________ Let me Enlighten you, as To The Stance of Lopers: There is more than The Beleifs Athiest, Agnostic and Fundamentalist Christian. Among them, I classify these as: -----Devout of another Faith -----Lip service of any Faith -----Enlightened Christian -----Erisian -----Lopian. Let me define Enlightened Christian: Someone who adheres to some Xtian doctrines or has some beleif in the Teachings of Christianity. They do not accept every myth of Xtianity as Truth or Fact. They are in effect, the "Self-correcting" element of Christianity. While it might not move with the speed and Efficiency of Science, it surely does evolve. Erisian-People who do not really Take Religion or Philosophy, altogether that seriously. Deeply rooted in Zen. Froot-Lopian it is basically Erisian, and of the Firm beleif, that The forces of Evolution and Creation, whatever they were, have been de-ified by many religous faiths. We beleive, that whatever electrical Impulses that make up our conciousness and is that force wich we equate to "life" is what is considered the "Soul" by many religous faiths. We feel that, although they may have mystified some elements of what science defines by more mundane terms, and they may have attributed the workings of those elements to divine/deified natural forces, That it does not diminish or invalidate their religion. I do not think, that whatever they say,is neccisarily true or false, but that their beleif system and myths are useful in having a soceity and understanding the past. It also good to Use to pick up chicks. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Wee haue divers curious clocks; and other like Motions of Return. ....Wee haue also houses of deceits of the senses, where we represent all manner of feats of juggling, false apparitions, Impostures, and illusions....There are many, my sonne, the riches of Solomons's House. ----Francis Bacon, The new Atlantis, PP 41-42 Consider the New Atlantis, next to Bensalem, just west of The Turnpike, from United Avalon, and Six flags. PART Eight OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Hokmah, most ancient of Prophets, Of the Chok'Mah, Was able to predict the coming of the Transylvanians, and their infiltration of Earth. He did not realize, they would eventually get bored, and return home. Stoned for his beleifs, he died happy. --------------------------------------- From: Flog Sonata To: Altar Ego Subject: What hymn I hath Wrought while hammered. Everything I said while drunk at Hound's is here by copy righted and cannot be reproduced in any way, shape or form, without first consulting the author (moi) and paying an excessive royalty fee, because I said so.All rights reversed. By the way, this very morning I repeated that wonderous phrase that we all know and love: "Ugh, I'll never drink again." Especially since I blew about 80 bucks last night, and I have no recollection as to where it all went. 20 on beer. 10 on Sunshine. 10 on junkfood. That's 40. Then we went to Dunn's and had food... 20. And then two pints at Mayflower two.... 10. Ok, there's 70 bucks of it. Sheesh it's expensive to be stupid. * Origin: Midler's Drain sucks up Atheists. (1:163/???) ?= Questions. Questions =answers. Answers not garanteed to be correct. ****************************************************************** The following Things might be True: The Masters of the World, who live beneath the world, Hate He-man. The Comte De Sainte-Germain, who lives forever, does not pay income tax. The secrets of the Solar System are contained in the measurements of the Great pyramid. The Satanic Initian rites of the Knight Templar are used by Fransican Fraternitys. the Tie between Rosicruscians and Brazillian Voodoo is enormous. Elvis was the second Messiah. He Left happy, but forgot to bring down armeggedon, for he so loved the jelly donut... They might be False. *******************************************************88 Q is the most interesting charecter on Star Trek, Is he relation the Squire of Trelane, from Star Trek the old generation? ********************************************************* Abulafia, Medieval Jewish Cabalist, was right all along. Except, it matters, in wich he was wrong. __________________________________________________________ Froot Loopians Worship their Computers, we love them, and just using our modems brings us great joy, and closer to the Goddess. It is always best if we Plug them in, and pay our phone bill, but if one is short from cash, from following the Dead across the state, then one must make do, as best as one can. The memory of the Computer is the greatest of all memory (except extended memory, wich is bogus).Expanded memory, sounds much cooler. EXPANSION!! Our Credo. Computer Memory is much better than Real Memory, because real memory at the cost of much effort learns to remember, but not to forget. To each memorable image, you attach a thought, a label, a category, a peice of the cosmic furniture, syllogisms, an enormous sorites, chains of apothegms,strings of hypallages,rosters of zuegmas, dances of hysteron proteron, apophantic logoi, hierarchic stoichea, processions of equinoxes and parrallaxes, herbaria, genealogies of Gymnosophists--and so on, to infinity. You have only to cast your mind back to your visions and immediately you could reconstruct the great chain of being, in love and joy, because all that was disjointed in the universe was disjointed in your mind. When the Goddess constructed the Ars Obvionolis, she did not remember to come up with the rules for forgetting. It was left up to her brothers to decide, and they chose to let it happen by the natural process, like stroke and amnesia, and such self-intervention as drugs, alcohol and watching of facts of life. The Computer, can however, merely reset and it is wiped clean, unless you beleive in the deadly myth of the undeletia Ridiculosia. PART nine OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ He who attempts to Penetrate into the Rose Garden of the Philosophers without the key, resembles a man who would walk without feet. ---Micheal Mair Atalanta Fugiens, 1618 A.D. -------------Anno Dominus----non Erisian Year system. FROOT LOOPIAN, F.L, The year on the Calender of the Mundanes of the world, the ones who do not adhere to the teachings of Lopian is set to Anno Dominus, in the year of our lord, A.D. in this reality. Lopians preffer to use a different, very, very secret dating system, we cannot tell anyone about. It is so secret, that we use the Dating system of others, to convince them, that we infact, don't really have a very elaborate dating system, based on the End of "all in the Family". ------------------All other Erisian Calender requirements of the Principia Discordia, are followed, except for the ones, wich are not. ----------------------------------------------------------------- A further method of defining what lopers believe, regarding the nature of Mans need for Religion, as something to define values: While Humans differ widely in how they worship, but not as much as you might think in how they should behave. They might differ in what their Priests claim is divine, but not what their prophets describe as humane. You can find Discrepancys of this opinion, but when you look at some of the fundamental beleifs, you will find universal similaritys: The Golden Rule: Christianity: Mathew 7:12 All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do you even so to them: for this is the law of the prophets. Judaism: Talmud,Shabbat 31a What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. That is the entire law, the rest is commentary, Islam: Sunnah: No one of you is a beleiver until he desires for his brother that wich he desires for himself. Eris: Principia Discordia: The bearer of this card is a pope, please treat him good forever. (All those of erisian faith, may claim to be a pope). Brahmanism:Mahabharata 5,1517 This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others wich would cause you pain if done to you. Buddhism:Udana Varga 5,18 Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Confucianism: Analects 15,23: IS there one maxim that ought to be acted upon throughout ones whole life? surely it is the maxim of loving kindness: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Taoism: T'ai Shang Kan Ying P'ien (as translated by Lewis Browne) : Regard your neigbors gain as your own gain, and your neigbors loss, as your own loss. Zoroasrianism: Dadistian-i-dinik: That nature alone is good wich refrains from doing unto another whatsoever is not good for itself. Froot Loops:This very part of the book: You should be nice to people who are nice to you. You should beat the crap out of those, that are not, if you can, unless they can be persuaded to do something of value for you, without being beaten. You should run, from those that can beat the crap out of you, unless you can convince them, that you can do something for them, if they do not beat you. There are distinctions in the wordings, but no difference in meaning. Though diverse, they are not all completely different. While I do not beleive all Religions follow this pattern, It would be safe to say, that Charity Is a rather commen thread in the magor religions of the World. ========================== The Law of Fives, Can be expanded with the Law of Ten Sefirot: Keter,Hokhmah,Binah,Hesed,Gevurah, Tiferet,Nezah, Hod, Yesod,Malkhut. Seek the Lost writings of Sefer Yesirah, for more info. ==================================== From: Altar Ego To: Flog Sonata Subject: What you said while stammered FS> Sheesh it's expensive to be stupid. Isn't it true? Hey, welcome to the club, but don't loose your sense of humour as well as your money, or you'd be spiritually bankrupt. Stay goofy, AE ----- note the rest of this Exchange has been sold to the Chinese. ----- Secret number:36 divide your holy number by it to equal 3.333333 Multiply that by 2, for the number of Alistair Crowley. PART Ten OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ The Holy Math fable of Tetragrammaton _____________ dedicated to Math Teachers and Rosicrucians everywhere Begin by combining this name, YHWH, at the beginning alone, and examine all its combinations and move it and turn it about like a wheel, front and back, like a scroll, and do not let it rest, but when you see its matter strengthened because of the great motion, because of the fear of confusion of your imagination and the rolling about of your thoughts, and when you let it rest, return to it, until there shall come to your hand a word of wisdom from it, do not abandon it. ---Abulafia, Medieval Jewish Cabalist Hayye ha Nefas, 65a-65b ================================================ Abraham Abulafias "Hokmath ha Zeruf" was at once the science of the combination of letters and the science of purification of the heart, Mytic Logic, letters whirling in infinite change. Many of Abulafias disciples were unable to walk the fine line between the search for the true torah or the Contemplation of the names of god, and the Practice of magic. It is with this in mind, that cryptographs and Coding devices in messages should be dedicated to the master. ========================================= Froot Loops Code, Give it a try, all the combinations of YHVH 10 rem anagrams 20 input L$ (1),L$ (2),L$ (3),L$(4), 30 Print 40 for I1=1 to 4 41 Format C: 42 Print "Y" 50 For I2=1 to 4 60 if I2=I1 then 130 70 for I3=1 to 4 80 If I3=I1 then 120 90 If I3=I2 then 120 100 let I4-10-(I1+I2+I3) 110 Lprint L$ (I1);L$(I2);L$(I3);L$ (I4) 120 next I3 130 next I4 140 next I1 150 End. you will have (X) amount of names of God. Sefir Yesirahs lost teachings indicate beyond seven letters a man should stop Figuring. That god does not have a middle initial, and that in the hebrew alphabet their are no vowels, only twenty-two consants and five variants--possible names would have 29 digits. This is a highly valuable study. Trying to learn the name of God. _____________________________ Surgeon General Warns, that now it is determined to be futile to determine the name of God. You may ask Eris, but its likely she will not reply. The fido people cut her feed. -------------------------------------------------------- Confuscianian Loopian Proverb: Man who eat of the Jelly bean, shall fart in the Technicolor, --St Fergusin. ------------------------------------------ PART Eleven OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ The Ignoble subfaith of Transylvania, Not Quite fully claimable by Froot Loops, It is obviously the Film equivalant of the Ten Commandments starring Charlton Heston, To Erisians. A pilgramage to go to see this film, many times is to be undertaken, and drink heavily. The holiest among you, shall dress as charecters from the film, and wear Fishnet stockings, to rub during the Floor show. The Proliferaters, Herby known as Icons: Frank-n-furter, great Scientific mind, and Transvestite. Rif Raf, Servent and later commander of Transelvanyan Forces Magenta, Hideous sister of Rif, and Incestous lover. Exquisite Chef of Steam, and Caniblism. Meatloaf, Long since beleived to be dead. Rocky,-Meatloafs twin, and rock-n-roll biker. Later Eaten. Columbia, Judy andrews, she is not. Brad, This is how the holiest, spell ASSHOLE. Janet, This is how the Holiest, spell SLUT. Dr.Scott, Former Tutor, and nazi. Narrarator, Had no career after bond Movie. ----These are divine beings, the likes of wich will probably never be known or seen again. They are to be reviled, as great things and other stuff. ------------------------------------------------------------- Do not expect much of the end of the World. ---Stanislaw J.Lec Leading Pessimest --"Mysli nieuczsane" -------------------------------------------------------------- Zen Question, Considered Timeless: Subject: Knowledge is power? Rocket scientists vs. ignorant sunovabitch with a missile launcher. Which one do you think invented the missile launcher? -------------Mooists Across Canada, restle with this dillemna. --The Draining of the Dragon, is the most holiest of Endeavors, and one of the most rewarding. It should be Done, by all that can, and in doing so, you are Paying homage to Froot Loops. When Flatulating, You are paying homage, to ST. Fergusin, and your thoughts should be towards him, especially if in a small, unventalated room, alone. "Having Come from The Light and from the gods, here I am in Exile, seperated from them". ------Fragment of Turfa'n M7 "I'm in you" --Frampton, Frampton Comes Alive. PART Twelve OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ An Ancient Myth of Divine Proportion. Quoth the Scripture to me? The Divine Profit, my great Ancestor S'wingus Dickitius, the ancient Roman toleitry officer, who was in charge or Wiping the son of the one true gods buttcheeks on his way to be crucified, had written many scriptures, yet they are not seen in an Testaments published or not published, for it was written and yet forgotten. However, I shall impart some of his divine Aspiration unto thee, and expect a Tithe of many dollars in abudance. The Book of S'wingus Dickitius 1:1:1 So unto the masses did the great and mighty S'wingus churn forth his spew and hurl at the gathered masses in the square of the merchant walimarticus. He that had brought his lunch to bear upon the unelightened crowd looked up, and spoke with such a voice, that he imparted wisdom, not in his words, but in the mere not listening to what he said. 1:1:2 So with a great and heavy voice, did he lean back and squeal like a piggie. Let It rain down big gulps and Fiery bahama mamas freshly eaten from the CircleKitorium, said the Divine Profit of the Truth and with the understanding that their would be free packets of Relish and mustard for all that had gathered that day to learn the Wisdom of the Ancient ones. 1:1:3 Let those among you who think they are above flatulence, be the first to pass a stone, said the great s'wingus to his flock. Many times he would be inspired by his deity and get so enraptured in his own spirituality that he would become confused and speaketh to his frock. Lest other times, members of his congregation bade him not speak to his apparel, but unto the masses that had gathered for other purpouses at the Wingandthingsitorium to imbibe their daily meals. 1:1:4 So he would travel from Village to Village spreading the word and the Dung of Cows as he travelled. Cast out and ridiculed by the Heathens, he swore to show them a divine miracle, and So it happened one day. He had found Mary Magdalaine and was laid for the first time. He did not have many denarii that day, and so only received the laying on of handjobs. However he felt anointed with a new feeling of spirituality and some strange itch around his groinus. And so, Layman and unbelievers, read the gospell, and send me money. Or I may recite more of it to you. Swinging Dick Divine Poly-step Father of The Church OF Loopus, =================================== "In his Right hand he held a Golden Trumpet" ---Johann Valentin Andeae, Die Chymische Hochzeit des Christian Rosencreutz -------------------------------------------------- +++++++++++UNPAID ADVERTISEMENT+++++++++ From: Swinging Dick To: All Turtlenecks Subject: INSANITYFEST iNSANTITY FEST THIS COMING SATURDAY!!!! Big Time InsanityFest Planned!!!! People so Inclined may be Combustibles and Other Tools... Big Fun for Everyone!!!!! (go to Berts....) And Lo, This was the Holiest of The Entropicus, For it was the 12th of the 15th Chapter in the Book of Principia of Eris, and there was much celebration... "Elf shot the food" --Old 20th Century video-game. PART Fourteen OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Know O Beleivers, that the number 13 is considered Unlucky, and no chapter of Principia Entropius was Written, in the number 13. Released From: Anaximander Originally To: St.Paper Dragon subject: generalisimo Franco Frunaldi I remember the last astral travel my companion and I took. We hopped the magic bus and took a left at Malkut. We ended up ina holding pattern underneath Ireland. I noticed that we were circling around a small Leprechuan who was playing the nose-flute. I asked him why he had a proclivity for instruments that were not to his ethnicity. He simply replied that he had tried to take up the digery-doo but it was hard to play when you could fit your whole head in the mouthpiece. We pondered this for a moment, stopped at the shiva-shine buswash, and headed to the third star to the left and straight on till evening. This is the nasty opposite to never-never land. The found boys have a pretty good strip bar there. ++++++============================================++++++++++++++ (Note there was a 13th Chapter of Principia Entropius, but it was eaten by Mr. Momotos Brother.) Monk speaking to God after having spent a faithful life in Celibacy: "You mean, it was "CElebrate"...WE had it all wrong?" --------------- Corinthians 9:12 Ren and Stimpy are Role-Models for Children, they should be left Unnattended to Watch The show, for hours at a time. They are to be considered Demi-gods spawned of Eris's own Phlegm. (note Celibate Monk who had mis-read the Scriptures, Had only occaisonally molested Choir-boys and so was allowed to enter Paradise.) (MEDICAL FACT OF KNOWLEDGE) It seems you are quite unaware of the medical value of the sperm of a mature spider monkey. It seems that when such sperm is generously applied to areas of human skin with a particularly advanced stage of wrinkling, within days, there seems to be a pronounced tightening of the skin. The wrinkles seem to disappear. It leaves the individual looking 10 to 20 years younger than they would normally appear. Although totally cosmetic in nature, multiple applications of spider monkey sperm can essentially erase 10 to 20 years from your physical appearance. (Very few people know that there are over 200 milligrams of Spider Monkey sperm in Oil of Olay. This is very controversial since the FDA has not yet given its seal of approval to its use.) Although the scientific community is conducting on-going research trying to unharness other possible uses for this "wonder liquid", it is ironic to note that the initial discovery of its powers came about quite by accident. It seems Dick Clark, as a child, had many spider monkey pets. Before he would put them to bed at night, it became a ritual for him to tell them bedtime stories. But his stories were always very erotic and would cause the spider monkeys to ejaculate uncontrollably, dousing young Dick with their sperm. The long term effects were astounding. To this day, Dick Clark appears *decades* younger than he actually is. And, he always travels with a group of spider monkeys wherever he goes. Doctors and scientists are well aware of this tightening effect the sperm has on human skin. But, thus far, they have not been able to find other useful medical purposes. Supposedly, it makes an excellent salad topping as well. But, the tightening of the skin effect is profound and could have widespread ramifications in the appearance of future aged Americans. By the year, 2050, if spider monkey sperm should ever get final approval by the FDA, the appearance of an 80-yr-old man could be exactly the same as a 30-yr-old. Johnson & Johnson's Corporation already has obtained legal first rights to market the product when it becomes available (supposedly under the name ... MONK-KUM) Also, the marketing researchers at Johnsons & Johnson's are considering mixing it with spermicidal jelly. So, do not be too quick to kill any spider monkeys, --Dr.Emerling Mutual of Oklahoma Illuminatus Front Organization \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////// " Its been said that Poetry consists of letting the word be heard beyond words. And Goethe says, "All things are Metaphors." Everything thats transitory is but a metaphorical reference. Thats what we all are." -----Joseph Campbell The Power of Myth, Pg 230. "I do not like Green Eggs and Ham" -Dr.Suess Official Religous Titles OF froot_loops, Miscellaneous Grab-bag, available to any that claim them: ADVICE GUY! INQUISTITOR OF THE PAINFUL STICK WEILDER OF THE POINTED STICK JUSTICIAR OF ASSISTANCE TOADLICKER BUTTWIPE J.g (junior Grade) ASSISTANT FARTKNOCKER LIUETENANT DILLHOLE OF THE PEE PEE DANCE you may only choose one, and that title is for Eternity, unless Otherwise notified. PART Fifteen OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ "Eden is the Kingdom of The Father and it is spread upon the Earth, and men do not see it." "Subject for your approval - a middle-aged computer enthusiast gets involved in meeting new people over the phone lines. People he has neither met nor seen. People he knows nothing about. He agrees to become part of a network of mindless banter that soon takes a bizarre twist ... there is no terminating this relationship with the sick minds with which he has become embroiled. There's no way out of this terror. As continues aimlessly down the highway of electronic frustration, there are no off ramps. The sign post up ahead says .... The Eris Zone" ----------------------|\ | THE ERIS ZONE \ | (straight ahead) / ----------------------|/ You will have to use your Pineal Gland, to discern where the goddess has hidden her Secret Erisonogeous Zone. The First whose sun-dial is at high-noon, should excuse himself, and Flog his Sonato. ===================================================================== Greg Kinnear of the "E" network, is the anti-Letterman. He bears the mark of the Unholy "E". A Most Riteous Abulafia Question: SS> KN>JA> : What's the ground drag coefficient of an unhusked SS> KN>JA> turtle? SS> KN> 18.4 mg/ft^2/sec SS> Eighteen point four MILLIGRAMS?????... per square foot per SS> second? Exactly! The FROOT_LOOPS scientific staff took your inquiry very seriously and has been conducting extensive research and data collection over the past week. Sadly, it has resulted in the death of many innocent turtles, but such is the price of scientific achievement. They did not die in vane. SS> You are a disgrace. Turn in your decoder ring and phunny SS> hat. --------------Whoomp Dare it Tis, Latin for "I am an Ignoramus" Do you think, that a mere 15 of 15 Is the Complete Works of Principia Discordia? No My Child, my student, therein Lies the Mysterys, IF you seek it, there it shall be, and more shall follow, but less shall be revealed. So it is, and so it was not. `````````````````````````````````````````` The Lessons of The Monk Tom Gnos, NC for the Fransiscan/Dominican_net, In his Cyberpapal newsletter: California Attorney General Dan Lungren proposed in October that the state measure the pain-killing attributes of cyanide gas in order to demonstrate that the gas chamber is not "cruel and unusual" punishment, as contended by the American Civil Liberties Union in a recent lawsuit. Lungren proposed that the state put rats in pain by "colon balloon distention" - inserting balloons in the anuses of 60 rats and inflating them until the rats squeal - and then administering cyanide at different doses to see if the pain subsides. --------------------------- The Los Angeles Times reported that the Novel Cafe in Santa Monica recently featured Kopi Luwak, the SUmatran coffee reputed to be the most expensive in the world, at $130 per pound. According to the cafe's owners, a certain kangaroolike Sumatran animal eats only the "ripest, best" coffee cherries, digests them, and excretes them, after which natives pick the beans and wash and process them into Kopi Luwak. --------------------------- (Meanwhile back in Georgia:) --------------------------- In February, a squirrel apparently fell into a small vent on the roof of Kim Richardson's home in Lawrenceville, GA., and got into the plumbing pipes. Richardson reported that she sat down on the toilet and felt a scratching on her derriere. She "almost died," she said later. The squirrel had drowned by the time help had arrived. --------------------------- ***************************** --And Finally nothing is Cabalistically inferred from vinum, save VISNUMerorum, upon which numbers this Magia depends. ------Cesare della Riveria, ---Il Mondo Magico degli Eroi, pp 65-66 PART Sixteen OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Anonymoose Says: And it came to pass that Moses needed his socket set back. So he fell upon his knees, and prayed to the Lord, 'Oh, Lord, might thee return my socket set?' And verily, the Lord sent down an angel. And the angel made much fanfare and blowing of horns, and gave Moses back his socket set. And there was much rejoicing. And Moses was grateful unto the Lord, and he said to the angel, 'Tell my Lord He truly is mighty, and just, and great, and all that.' And the angel said unto Moses, 'Well, actually, the Lord could really rather use your lawnmower.' And Moses, being a good man, said 'Oh, Ok.' And verily, the angel did take Moses lawnmower, and his gas can. ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ Exert Pressure Upon Your Enter Key To Continue: --------------------------------------------------------------------- Beavis and Butthead are both Saints, for it is that St.Butthead, who can Fart, like no other, weilds his magic Long Staff, and St Beavis of Fire, FIRE, FIRE...Is a magor influence on the Faith of FROOT_LOOPS. All those that enter into it, shall do so in the understanding,that these two mythical being represent the epitome of everything that is cool. huh Huh. "Huh Huh Huh, M Huh, huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Uh huh, M Huh Huh Uh M Huh, -St. Beavis -Haiku, Made in Vandriessons Class. From: Advice Guy To: Wilbur Gaglestein Subject: Ask an Idiot Yes, you came to the Right place. Whenever anyone has a question, adress it to ADVICE GUY and the SUBJECT should be "ASK AN IDIOT". Ok, I am sensing a lot of love coming from you, Wilbur. Lets examine what you wrote, shall we? WG> I heard that you are both the moderator in this echo and WG> also the source of excellent advice. I thought I remember I beleive it was "Florida" on good times who once said: " You got that right, honey child. " WG> My problem is with women! I'm 21 years old, 5' 7", WG> weigh 185 lbs, and I am a Computer Science major at Memphis WG> State University. You would think that would be enough to I think it was Burl Ives who said: "Grunt Big For Daddy" and what he meant by that, is Obviously better left to the Rhetorical conciousness of the sublimanal factors as illustrated in the book by Salmon Rushdie and Howard Stern "Feel your Vein". However to Paraphrase: Love is Ok, Sex is Ok, Sex with a partner, is much better. I think you can see where I am going with that, can't you? I am sure you can, and can summize your own fallacys with those words of wisdom, so elequently written, by yours truly. WG> little shy, however. For instance, I don't really want to WG> TALK with them, or go on a DATE or anything. I'm not sure I WG> am ready for anything as deep as that. I just want a In the Words of K.C and the sunshine Band: "Thats the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I Like it." Wich in this instance,is reffering to your innefectual Inner Child who is in self-Riteous mode. I say don't edit yourself, and don't be afraid to Experiment here. Perhaps, instead of People, Try dating Inanimate Objects for a While, A desk or Chair. Establish a relationship with the Chair, take it on little "Excursions" massage the chair. Work your way up to Small furry animals, and perhaps one day, primates. Let the healing take its natural course. WG> when I return to Little Rock, Arkansas (my home) this This is your problem. Blow up the town you live in, and then you can absolve yourself of emotional constrainsts. WG> while she changes clothes. I could call her and pretend I WG> was somebody else. I could drop little notes in her mailbox WG> and in her car while she is not looking. I could sacrifice Very normal. I think it was Norman Fell who once wrote: "Jack, You better Put mrs's Ropers Pantys back where you found them!" Ofcouse, we all know that this is often mis-quoted,but if we look at the Metaphysical realitys of a self-inherint Jack, one that is metaphoric for our rapid decrease in abhoria, then the condition is malevant and Obstentious. With increased dyscordian Dynamics the effort is resolved and all Alterior Pyschotransitional Expereinces with the Multiplex is going to increase with the Interjection of the hoffman Principles. so You can see, that what you are feeling is perfectly normal, and healthy for a boy your age. WG> deep devotion. I would rummage their her trash to find WG> keepsakes. This is another deep problem, instead of Rummaging her trash, say "what is wrong with my own trash?" confront your garbage inadequacy feelings, and take your trash and put on her lawn late an night, and then light it on fire. This might eliminate the negative feelings you are having. Well I am sure I have solved your problem, Feel free to ask me about another one at some time. + + + + + as the alien in Muppet's bathtub once said to me: S N E B I T ! ! ! + + + + + ALL HAIL ERIS, ALL HAIL FROOT LOOPS!!!!! FNORD! The Cyber-Papacy of FROOT LOOPs, or its MODUS OPERANDI DIVINTIA, shall be known as a "Moronacy" , as a form of government, likened unto Utopia and New Atlantis. Morons never do the Wrong thing. The get the reasoning wrong. Like the fellow who says all dogs are pets and all dogs bark, and cats are pets too, and therefore all cats bark. Or that all Athenians are mortal, and all citizens of Piraeus are mortal, so all the citizens of Piraeus are Athenians. Wich they are, but only accidentally. Morons will occaisonally say some thing right, but they will say it for the wrong reason. ALL HAIL MORONS! The great Copulation,is to Cop to the Opionion that if you admit, that you are an Idiot, your life will be smoother, and you will have less Pressure to acheive. You have to ofcourse, expect less. Then when you get more, it will seem even cooler. PART Seventeen OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Gods Will to Unmask Cosmic Moronism ______________________________________ Morons are Tricky, You can spot him right away, but the Moron reasons almost the way you do;The Gap is almost infintismal. A moron is a master of a paralogism. For an editor, its bad news. It can take him an eternity to identify a moron, plenty of morons books are published, because they are convincing at first glance. An editor is not required to weed out the morons, if the Academy of Science doesn't, why should he? Philosophers, don't either. Saint Anselm's ontological Argument is moronic, for example." God must exist because I can conceive of him as a being perfect in all ways, including existance". The saint confuses existance in thought, with existance in reality. Gaunilon's refutation is moronic, too. " I can think of an Island in the sea even if the Island doesn't exist". He confuses thinking of the Possible with the thinking of the neccesary. --Also known as The "Forbess's Car argument" A duel between Morons. And God loves every minute of it. He chooses to be unthinkable only to prove that Anselm and Gaunilon were morons. What a sublime purpouse for creation, or rather the act by wich god willed himself to be: To unmask Cosmic moronism. The Law of Syllogisms states that: universal conclusions cannot be drawn from Two Paticulars. The Legend of Saint Paul, Epistle to Titus _____________________________ Epimedes the Cretin says all Cretans are Liars. It must be true, because he is a Cretan himself, and knows his countrymen well. Fnord. On the other hand, Those who call Epimedes a liar have to think all Cretans aren't, but Cretans don't trust other Cretans, Therefore no Cretan Calls Epimedes a liar. Is this an Example of Moronic Thinking>? Even Morons can win a nobel Peace Prize. Moronism Is Wisdom! The Whole history of Logic consists of our attempts to define an acceptable notion of Moronism. A Task too immense. Every Great thinker, is someone else's Moron. What is moronism to one, is inchoherant to another! ------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- By: EchoList Announcer To: All Re: Tag: STARGOAT was Added. St: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The following reflects the current entry in The International EchoList database on 8-Aug-93 1:47:33 pm Tagname: STARGOAT Area Key: STARGOAT Title: Mutant Cosmic Star Goat Description: The Restored Church of the Star Goat is pleased to provide a forum for the distribution of the Star Goat cults' dogma. As most intelligent life forms in the galaxy know, Star Goat is a mental construct of Douglass Adams' wholly remarkable four- part trilogy. (For the rest of you, the secret is, "bang your rocks together, guys!") What's not generally known, (since it's a secret cult) is that there is a secret cult which has followed Star Goat since the 'B' ark landed. The Moderator is an ordained and _legal_minister_ and publishes the wholly remarkable magazine "Green Pastures" generally on a monthly basis. (BATF officers are not encouraged to participate.) Origin: 1:666/666.0 Distribution: Private (secret) distribution Gateways: # Nodes: 1 Volume: Rule File: Flags: Moderators: Lucifer Hoof, 1:666/666.0@fidonet Seen by: 1:666/666.0@fidonet Paths: Date added: 8-Aug-93 Last changed: 8-Aug-93 Changed by: Lucifer Hoof, 1:666/666@fidonet --- ELISTUPD/2 2.2.4 The Great StarGoat Faith, is considered to be Waywardly Erisian, yet those of that Faith, would deny it. That is their way of admitting that It is the Truth. ************%%%%%%%%%%************* PART Eighteen OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Lunatics Vs. Morons ____________________ a Lunatic is a Moron, who does not yet know the Ropes. The Moron proves his Thesis; he has a logic, however twisted it may be. The Lunatic on the other hand, doesn't concern himself at all with logic; he works by short circuits. For him, everything proves everything else. The lunatic is all (idee Fixe--or fixed in his thought), and whatever he comes across confirms his lunacy. You can tell him by the liberties he takes in commen sense, by his flashes of inspiration, and by the fact that sooner or later he will bring up the Illimunati conspiracy. (note the rest of this document was seized by unknown forces) ___________________ In Buddhism moral virtue (sila) and contemplative practices of mental cultivation (samadhi) are stages on the path to wisdom,(panna) a higher riteousness. In Froot Loops, those that can bully and harrass others into thinking they are right, are infact..correct. This is a path to higher Faith (doggdookiea) and Riteousenss (BullWinkliusness). _________________ His Sterility was infinite. It was part of the ectasy. ---E.M Cioran, ---pensees etrangles 1969 ------------ Bono-------------- The name Bono, for years has been worshipped by primitive African tribes as a spirit with a big nose. Bono of U2 not only has a large nose, but also loooks like Shemp of the three stooges. Sonny Bono, popular early 70's musician Also has a big nose, and a big Moustache. Bono is also the name of a popular clown, who delighted audiences of children with his delightful antics, and his huge red nose, until one day he snapped and carved the mark of the devil into a childs forhead at one show. Bono the Wonderclown has since gone into hiding. Bono Bread, is a popular Bread amongst people who only have 39 cents to buy bread, and is owned by a miserly old man, named Harvey Elle, who not only has a big nose, but also his last name has four letters, as does bono. coincedence? chance? Bullshit? You be the judge, This is a highly delicate subject, bound to have lots of controversy, first brought to light in Star magazine, and then in a later expose' by renowned journalists working for the globe. I can imagine PRo-bono's massing great sit-ins across this nation and being firebombed for their beleifs by Anti-bono advocates. What do you think? ******************************************************************** If you fill the world with Children who do not bear your name, no one will know they are yours. Like being God in plain Clothes. You are God, you wonder through the City, you hear people talking about you, God this, God that, what a wonderful Universe this is, and how elegant the law of Gravity, and you smile to yourself behind your fake beard (no better to go without a beard, for in a beard God is immediatelly recognizable). You soliloquize (God is always Soliliquizing):" Here I am the one, and they don't even know it." IF a pedestrian Bumps into you on the street, you humbly apologize and move on, even though your God, and with a snap of your fingers you can turn the world to Ashes. But infinitely powerful as you are, you can afford to be long-suffering. ********************************************************************** PART Nineteen OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ "How can life be so bountiful, providing such sublime rewards for Mediocrity?" ---William S. ##################################################### dronF ----- Exalt not the Wise, So that the people shall not scheme and contend. ---Taoist Doctrine #################################################### SOMEWHERE AT THIS MOMENT, way far away,There may be Erisians in a Galaxy fighting against Lord Malamar of the Lemurites and the Dreaded Spider nut monkey race. Subject: turtle data\Front Anon Groups of Secret Covert Illumanati "ORGANIZATION OF MEN WHO DO NOT WANT TO WAKE UP WITH THEIR PENIS SEVERED" "ORGANIZATION OF PEOPLE WHO FEAR DRINKING MERCURIC ACID" "ORGANIZATION OF WOMAN WHO DON'T WANT TO DATE JEFFREY DAHMER" "ORGANIZATION OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIKE STICKING PINS IN THEIR RETINA" ----------------&------------------------ Fido-Loops Policy emmenating from the Book of Ptah-Hotep _____________________________________________________ IF thou are Annoyed at a thing, if thou are tormented by someone who is acting within his rights, get out of his sight, and remember him no more when he has ceased to adress thee. -------------------------------------------------------------- þ *** CAUTION! *** from Saint Emer of the ling To: All Re: Sing-along-with-Dave If I had a hammer ... I'd hammer in the evening. I'd hammer in the morning ... And probably be making minimum wage. ----------------------------------------------- From: Anaximander To: Tori s subject: lunch meat The most sacred text of all: It was written on a loaf of turkey baloney. Upon the 23 slices were put the most inspired words of the gODDESS herselph. They exposed the universe to a power unlike that of anything yet to be seen. All of the pages but one were mistakenly made into a school lunch. The remaining page rests in the sacred fantastic four lunchbox withe the Wholly Wrelic of the apple of yappledapple. it is difficult to read after ten years but the words are still earth shattering. I can furnish a transcription upon request if you would like or if anyone reading this would like. Anaximander -life is like a bag of cheez wiz with holes in the fabric of reality This Statement is True><- Stop casting porosity -><- Keep the lasagna flying =================================================================== Sub umbra Alarum tuaram, Jehova. ---Fama Fraternitatis, ----Allgemeine und general reformation, 1514 ------------------------------------- Froot loops is not Religous, Religion IS froot Loops. --------------------------------------------------- Sylabus of The Collegiate Froot Lopus University Tetrapyloctomy Department Location: Unknown A School of Comparative Irrelevance, Where useless of Impossible courses are given. The Schools aim, is to turn out scholars capable of endlessly increasing the number of unneccesary subjects. The Tetrapyloctomy Depts purpouse is to Inculcate a sense of irrelevance. The Adynata or Impposibilia Dept purpouse is Urban planning for Gypsies. Courses are offered in: Morse Syntax The History of Antartic Agriculture The History of Easter Island Painting Contempary Sumerian Literature, Montessori Grading, Assyrio-Babylonian Philately, The Technology of the Wheel in pre-Columbian Empires, The Phonetics of the Silent Film Crowd Psychology in the Sahara. -Furthermore: The essence of the discipline is the comprehension of the underlying reason for a things absurdity. The Oxymoronic Department: dealing in Matters of self-contradiction. Courses include: Tradition in Revolution, Democratic Oligarchy, Parmenidean Dynamics, Shermanite Miracles-proving something happened, that cannot happen. Heraclitan Statics, Spartan Sybaratics, Tautological Dialectics, Boolean Eristic. Grammar of Solecisms. Send now for the Prospectus, and Aquire a Scholarship, and a set of valuable Wind-chimes! PART Twenty-one OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ --One fine day, the King of Fance, The Holy Roman Emperor, King Baudoin III of Jerusalem, and the Grand Masters of the Templars and the Hospitallers all decided to lay seige to Ascalon. They set together: King, Court, Patriarch,Priests carrying Crosses and banners, and the archbishops of Tyre,Nazareth, Caesarea. It was like a big Party.orriflames and standards flying, tents pitched around the enemy city, drums beating. Ascalon was defended by one hundred and Fifty Towers, and the inhabitants had long since been preparing for seige: All the houses had slits in the walls, They were like fortresses within fortresses. The Templars were smart fighters, they should have known This was going to be tough, but no...everyone got excited, and they built battering rams, and wooden towers. They had Catapults firing under the cover of The wooden Sheildwalls they erected. The Asconalites tried to burn their Towers, but the wind was against them, and they accidentally burned their own walls instead. It was in one place in the walls, that a breach was made, and the attackers charged the city. Then a strange thing Happened, the Grand Templar, had a cordon set up, that only his men could enter the City. Cynics say he was trying to make sure the templars would get all of the Booty.A kinder explanation is that he feared a trap, and wanted to send his own brave men in first. Either way, he wasn't the brightest of Commanders. Forty Templars ran full steam straight through the city, came to a screeching halt in a great cloud of dust, when they reached a wall on the other side, looked at one another and wondered what they hell they were doing there. Then they about faced and ran past the Saracens, who pelted them with rocks and darts, slaughtering alot of them, Grand Master included. Then they closed the breach, hung the corpses from the Walls, and jeered at the Christians, with obscene gestures and horrid laughter. It is beleived from these Violent Exchanges, the Concept of Tom and Jerry was begat. ------------------------------------------------------- INSANITY FEST CANCELLED ON ACCOUNT OF LARD AND PARASITES. MARK THE DAY ON YOUR INVIS-O-PORT A CALENDERS dang, and I was planning on not attending. ------------------------------------------- Perhaps the lard will help grease the wheels of progressionalliationality? Or perhaps the Lard will fall on you to your utter utterlyness? The answers must be known. ---Crysarides of Eris. --------------------------------------------------------- An Open Letter to The Goddess Eris: Sirs, It has come to my attention that Monte Python has not be fully recognized as a Biblical Pantheon by your Faith. Since it is clearly the case, that this is so, and I fully recognize their comedy genius, excepting ofcourse references in their program "Monte Pythons Flying Circus" to Womens Undergarments, so on and so forth, --Brigadeir General (ret) E.R. Cummings, (mrs.) $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ From: Flog Sonata To: Altar Ego Fundamental Truth: It's expensive to be st00pid. Lose my sense of humour? Never! It's a code that will stay with me until the day I die, handed down to me by buddhist monks from the castle wall of the great and wonderous Tibikikaka shrine. "Take this, young Flog!" they yelled, as battle roared around us. I took the tablets with the sense of humour code and rode off in to the woods on my mighty steed. There, I paused by a brook, and read the code, digested it. I did more than memorize it: I found the inner meaning of it and fused it with my mind and soul. Then, I wanked off. Or maybe I just wanked off to the good bits of humour code. There was this one page from "Monk Monthly" that was taped to the underside of one of the tablets. Miss February 1888 was a damn sight sexier than the god damned codes of humour. Come to think of it, the codes of humour were pretty damn dull, and I chucked 'em into the brook and made Miss Feb part of my soul. Oh well. I'm sure it was as profound an experience as those boring codes of humour would have been, had I taken the time to read 'em. ((((((((((((AVAILABLE IN NO SOUND))))))))))))) Where available Cowardism: Can you call yourself a Coward simply because the courage of others seems to you out of proportion to the triviality of the occaison? Thus wisdom creates Cowards. And thus you miss the oppurtunity while spending your life on the look out for it. You have to seize the oppurtunity instinctively, without knowing at the time that it is the oppurtunity. But suppose you passed up the Oppurtunity, because you felt it was inadequate? -------------------------f---n----o------r-----d-------------- PART Twenty-two OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ Anceint Celtics Did not know how to play basketball. They did however, have Baskets, And the Technology to make Balls. Coincidence? You be the Judge........... =============================/\================================ By: Sir Goawaine To: Knightstalker Re: Methinks, therefore Meam... What Ho,.... Knightstalker, Doth Thou Stalketh Knights? Well Stalketh no longer, For Here I am, Sir Go-Awaine, to clear up a few misconceptions, for instance, Old Aenglish mispellings and Misconceptions about the Aurthurian age. Did Thou Knoweth: Camelot, as you call was actually called "Crapalot", for when making it a Rookery of birds did roost and eat all the Bread set out to cool, they then bombarded us for days with the nasty whitestuff. We thought it was sorcery and we're forced to Rape and Burn a fair young Virgin to Ward them off. In Welsh legends, it was Called "smuckers, land of the Grape". When Lady Gynevhyver and her Vixenous freind Lady Isolde first came to Crapalot, the name of the Castle was temporarily changed to "Cumalot", wich was soon changed back, after Aurthur married Gynevhyver.... Sir Lancelot, was actually sir Dancealot, the Predecessor to the person thou doth know as Danny Terrio of Dance Fever.....He was the greatest Dancer in the land, not the greatest Jouster. Excrabitor, was not a sword. Aurthur got it from the lady of the lake, but it was the name we gave to the disease wich you call "The Crabs"....In Aurthurs time It marked you as a man of great power and Flatulencey. It was Sir Ferguson of the Rusted Gate, That was known to All of the Britons as the Greatest Knight, for he was feared near and wide, for his Flatulencey. This was the mark of a True Knight.... Sir GalIhad, Not Sir Galahad....He was always bragging about what Gal he had had....He was not to bright, as many times mistaken a Horses Rear, for that of a ladys Mouth. Sir Sherman of the Shelbyites, a Tribe in the far northern reaches of Logres, Known as a gobbler of Goo, and a wobbler of Woo. None were sillier than he. Sir De Bovine, Was indeed a cow...who we thought would be funny to knight. It was always entertaining to read storys written later about him, as if he had actually done them. Sir Pumice, a Vile Saxon Knight, Known for claiming to have built Crapalot, and to be the true king of The Britons, even though everyone knew he was an idiot, he was allowed to sulk around Crapalot. A Truer Imbecile, there never was. Well, Knightstalker I must ride, yonder calls the voice of Adventure and I must meet it, and my Destiny...I shall stop to share with you some more facts about The Aurthurian Legends one day, but let me also say- That Robin Hood did not exist at the time of King Aurthur, we never sang and Danced as the Play Camelot would show us (except for Sir Dancealot), and the Aurthurian Legends were all a myth, including myself, they never existed. Methanks you from the bottom of meheart, Sir Go a waine, :Origin Camelot BBS\(901)353-5013\Myth_net ======================================================================== "religions Can disagree, and still each be true because peoples spiritual needs come in different forms." ---Harold Kushner. "Do not forget the importance of the Impossible, nor Imagine that it is really Unattainable." ---Ancient Erisian Doctrine. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Attention Illuminatis meeting moved to Provins, France... Center of the Earth, Via Caverns. ========================================== My Balogna has a First name, its F-N-O-R-D...... ---------- After Beaujeu, The Order hs never Ceased to Exist, not for a moment, and after the Aumont We find an un-interuppted sequence of Grand Masters of the Order down to Our own Time, and if the name and seat of the True Grand Master and True Seneshchals who rule the Order and guide its sublime Labors remain a mystery Today, an Imprenetrable Secret known only to the truly enlightened, it is because the hourhas not struck and the time is not ripe............. -----G.A Shiffman, --Die Entstehung der Reiitergrade in der Freimauererei um de mitte des XVIII Jarhunderts PART Twenty-Three OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ The Great Scholar Trithemius, would have been proud of FROOT_LOOPS, As a Medieval version of the Internet, Trithemius, would have probably Found great use for Froot Lopian Logic and Reasoning, and surely would have designed more interesting Cryptograms. Consider this: The Night of Saint John 36 years post hay wain 6 messages intact with seal for the knights with white cloaks (Templars) Relapsi of provins for Vainjance (revenge) 6 times in 6 places Each time 20 years makes 120 years This is the Plan The first go to the Castle iterum again after 120 years the second join those of the Bread Again to the Refuge Again to our lady beyond the River Again to the Hostel of the Popelicans Again to the Stone 3 times 666 before the feast of the great white Whore. -- This was found, and deciphered from The various placings of the Stamps from Trithemius's Own Ed Mac Mahons Clearing house Sweepstakes Finalists Edition Order form, wich was never mailed. Theologians, Cryptobuffs and People named Ed, cannot agree on what it means. ------------ Monty Pythons Quest for the Holy Grail is considered distinctly Frootiopian/Erisian. The lesson to be learned from its tale, can be gleaned thusly: The Middle Ages Awaited the hero of the Graal and expected that the head of the Holy Roman empire would become an Image and a manifestation of that "King of the World"...The Invisible Emperor was to become also the visible one, and the middle ages would be "middle" in the sense of "central"... The Invisible, invioble center, the sovereign who must reawaken, the same hero, avenging and restoring. These are not fantasies of a Dead,Romantic past but, rather, the simple truth for those who, today, alone, can legitimately call themselves alive. ------Julius Evola. Also, That going around saying in your best Phoney English Accent "we are the knights who say nit!" is a sure sign, that you are in need of a life, and that others view you as a nerd. * Forwarded Request from the Froot Loops Illumanati office * of Request Forwarding, With attached Auto-response: G> I'd like to sign up for the sub-moderator post of Research, GG> since I know a lot of really useless stuff, but I am GG> temporarily out of form TTYL8RFormJ. Please send me more GG> form TTYL8RFormJ packets, so that I may fill one out and GG> distribute the others to local vagrants. Two crates of form TTYL8RFormJ are on the way! Along with a copy machine, a 486/66 computer, a fax machine, your own personal secretary, a janitor to empty your trashcans, and a maid to clean your office. Thank you for offering your services to the FROOT_LOOPS research department. There are several on-going projects at this time that are being funded by the dues paid by the 1000's of FROOT_LOOPS members: 1. A user-installable chip that allows a 14.4 modem to emulate a 300 baud modem. 2. The testing of a hypothesis that a particular ingredient in a Zagnut candy bar is actually a cure for Tuberculosis. 3. Data collection (by means of psychological interviews) of the cause and nature of bad Acapulco cliff divers. This project is having difficulty getting started due to the surprising lack of candidates that fit the desired profile. 4. Tom Jones ... Engelbert Humperdink. Brothers? Cousins? Genetic cloning? Coincidence? 5. ----Note this auto-Response was designed using Theorys of Fnord subliminal messages. If it worked, you will not be able to understand what it is supposed to mean. -------------------Shazam---------------- Ancient Power Word, or Colliquial Expletive? __________________________________________ PART Twenty-Four OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ The Analogy of Oppissites is the relation of light to shadow, peak to abyss, fullness to void. Allegory, mother of all Dogmas, is the replacement of the seal by the hallmark, or reality by shadow; it is the Falsehood of Truth, and the truth of Falsehood. ********************************************************************* If one had to choose between Mary-ann or Jeanie? Wouldn't the choice be obvious? Even if she could not grant wishes? ********************************************************************** The Lessons of The Monk Tom Gnos, NC for the Fransiscan/Dominican_net, to a Lesser Acoylote: I beleive it was Tommy smothers who once said: "You can tell who is running the country, by how much clothes they have on. The normal people, why we are the less-ons, see we have less clothes, and the people running the country, they are the more-ons" Thats why he was out of work for about 50 years or whatever when they cancelled his show. It wasn't cause it was to radical, it was just because it sucked. > Cute. Just because I'm ignorant about the workings of the > silicon trails.... hey, The day you claim you understand how fido works, is the day I will say you are full of shit. I don't think anyone really knows how everything works. Maybe Greg Jansen, but I am pretty sure he is full of shit (G). * * * our faith is open to Werewolves and Vampires and And anyone/thing, we do not discriminate. We do however reserve the right to pass judgement, and beat the crap out of you, if we can get away with it. * * * "...of these mysterious initiates---now become numerous, bold, conspiring- all was born: Jesuitism,Magnetism, Martinism, Philosophers Stone, Somnambulism, eclecticism." ---C.L. Cadet-Gassicourt, -Le Tombeau de Jaques de Molay ----------------------- Illuminati/Codewords to Remember: "John has a long mustache". countersign: "The Chair is against the Wall" --------------------------------- Fiji said that Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway. ----------------------------------- Three Stooges Cult/Shempism as Dogma. The highest of the Three: Arch-Saint Moe St. Larry St. Curly St. Shemp (or the black Shemp) This paticular grouping of Saints is revered as Universally Wise, and truly erisian. Their propensity to do each other Damage, yet to stay together, signifys truly moronic proportions of Divine Calibre. These are the greatest of Morons,and it is upon whose shoulders, the morons of this age.For we truly sit on the shoulders of Giants. Perhaps we should have went Wee-Wee, before we got all the way up there. PART Twenty-Five OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS ____________________________________ All The Traditions of Earth must be seen as deriving from a fundamental mother-tradition that, from the beginning, was entrusted to sinful man, and to his first off-spring. ---L.C.de Saint Martin, --De l'esprit des choses "You Chotesmoker" --St.Butt-head. ////////////////////////////////////////////////// Historical Materialism--an apocalyptic Erisian cult, that came out of the Trier region. Infinite are the powers of synretism, look into it. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ St Gulik, (also a Roach), God of Trickery, Crossroads and Theives. Messenger of Eris. The Creator of Writing, which is the art of evasion and dissimulation and a naviagation that carrys us to the end of all boundarys, says that WE should not step on him, unless he jumps on us, or on our food. he was also called St. Hermes... =============================================================== From: Advice Guy To: Albert Kabell Subject: Ask an Idiot Albert, AK> Hey Advice Guy, do you know much about computers? I beleive it was Chaka Kahn, who wrote: "Tell me something good" and by that I must tell you that I know something about computers but not about using them. I know about breaking them, and urinating on them at partys. AK> I have been calling bbs's for almost 2 years now, but AK> I've decided I want to run my own board now. I want to have This is classic "Cosby Syndrome" you have been in the network for awhile, and now you want to own the network. Clearly severe counsiling is needed. Anyone who wants to run a bbs is clearly sick. Especially a good bbs as you outlined. As you can see most sysops have not reached that level of madness, they just run crappy bbs's, as they are "borderline psychotics". You are truly too ill to be counselled in this text medium. I think mass quanitys of lithium and caffeine are in order. AK> and interesting door games, and I want to carry every AK> fidonet echo in existence. if Froot_loops is on the list, then you might have hope, for I beleive it was Bob Hope, who said: "What?, where the hell am I?" Wich is a sign of the insanity going into remission state, as the minds eye focuses and naturally wonders where it is, and what it has done. AK> One problem, I don't even know how to delete a file. You need to read the dos manual cover to cover, its only 697 pages of the dryest reading you might ever do. Its that or make freinds with someone who will do it for you. A word of advice: don't let people with handles like Immortus or Slayer have access to your dos, despite the good intentions they may have... AK> Do you think my lack of DOS knowledge will provide an not if you are running Os/2 Well I am sure I have solved your problem, feel free to ask me about something else you may need proffesional guidence with. --- --------- ------------ It is with this that we End this Book of the Principia Entropius, atleast within the form That Is recognizable in this Reality. The alien Entity, whose plan for Global Fnord Domination, has for some reason chosen to end Book one here, except for the part wich is invisible. You are left to ponder the mystery of that decision.